Simmons vs. Ford: A Battle for the Ages

Greg Oden will be the No. 1 pick in today's draft.

A few thoughts:

I'm nominating this for "Online Sports Article of 2007." Hands down, the most entertaining internet column I've read this year, and I've read a lot. These two need their own show. Who knew Chad Ford could talk smack like that? We knew Simmons had it in him, but the Chadster really surprised me. Neither guy was backing down, they were both taking the other guy's best shots and coming right back with some heat of their own, two champions at the top of their games, going all out. This was like Corrales-Castillo I. If you love the NBA, check this out, it'll get you ready for the draft. Most people have probably read it, to those who haven't and read this blog, I apologize to the six of you for not giving you the heads up sooner.

Anybody who thinks wrestling isn't a sport either has never watched it or needs to re-evaluate their interpretation of what a sport is. I agree, it's all scripted and purely entertainment, not to be taken seriously. And a lot of it is acting. But these guys are athletes. They're trained professionals at flying over ropes, jumping off of turnbuckles and ladders, and bouncing off of canvases that aren't exactly made of rubber. Wrestling is a higcontact sport that, with very few exceptions, requires supreme physical condition, endurance, and stamina. You're gonna tell me golf is a sport and this isn't? Tiger Woods is more of an athlete than Matt Hardy? Please.

As far as the Chris Benoit thing goes, I'm hoping Vince McMahon didn't know all of the details before airing that ridiculous tribute to him on Tuesday. Benoit was a great wrestler but a cowardly human being and a murderer. The latter crushes the former. Chris was one of my favorite guys back in the day, when I watched wrestling religiously and still thought it was real, but I have no sympathy for him. Zero.

On Reunited: The Real World Las Vegas: Frank, stop drinking so much. It's not even funny. A the same time, Arissa and Irulan...quit bitchin'. What the hell is wrong with those two? I can't believe seven formed adults, who have lived with each other before and knew fully what they were getting themselves into when they agreed to reunite, can't get along for three measly weeks. What are they, kindergarteners? Then again, if people casts to be on The Real World behaved like grownups, there'd be no show. So I guess it's necessary.

KG to L.A. for Bynum and Odom? Cooled off considerably, may be dead. KG to Phoenix for Amare? Appears to be warming up, a real possiblity. Bill Simmons was the first guy to propose the idea, his most intriguing point being the fact that Garnett is the one guy who can come close to playing Tim Duncan to a draw. And you know what? Phoenix needs to make it happen. Amare is an unstoppable low post scorer, but he doesn't rebound enough or block enough shots. KG doesn't block enough shots either (he's only averaged more than two a game twice in twelve seasons, believe it or not), but he's a better rebounder by three a game (12.8 to 9.6) and has led the league in that category four straight years. And he's in another stratosphere than Amare as an all-around defender, team and individual (6 first-team All-Defense selections, two second teams, one of the best big man defenders ever). Amare is average at best on that end. Obviously, something's missing with Kevin in terms of his impact on teammates and just the game overall - sure, his teammates have been mediocre for all but two years, all his coaches have sucked, and Kevin McHale is a complete moron, but can you imagine Tim Duncan missing the playoffs even once, let alone three straight years? - but on a team as loaded as the Suns, with Nash at the helm, where he won't have to be the man, that shouldn't be a problem. Garnett and the Suns complete each other.

Portland will take Greg Oden, Ric Bucher reports. Ric's a very busy and popular man. What would we do without him? Anyways, that's the right pick. Durant was the better player in college and will be the better player in the pros, but Oden will be more valuable because he's a center. Oden will be a dominant, game-changing pivot in the mold of Duncan (who we we all know is really a center). He'll hit his stride at 24 points, 13 boards, and 3-4 blocks a night, someone who commands a double-team and the closest thing defensively to Bill Russell since Bill Russell. And he'll win multiple rings.

Durant will be a franchise wing. Once he puts on some weight, he'll become the most freakish four-man in league history, 32-10-4 with two blcoks and two steals in his prime, an unstoppable offensive machine and a disruptive defensive presence. He'll make a run at Kareem's all-time points record, that's how good a scorer he'll be. And at least one ring.

And who'll be remembered as the third best player from this draft? Mike Conley Jr., a future perennial All-Star point guard.

Write it down.