Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Behind Kobe, Lakers are ready to be champions



Wow. That was even easier than I thought it'd be.

Coming into their best-of-seven series, I figured the Lakers were 80% better than the Nuggets, and thus would dispatch of them in five games. Of course, this is the same Lakers team that lost consecutive home games to Charlotte and Memphis without Pau Gasol, which maybe would've been okay if they hadn't defeated Dallas and Utah in consecutive road games just a week prior.

I believe the term I'm searching for is flaky.

So instead I picked the Lakers in six, assuming they'd win the first two games at home, get a split in Denver, and then, with a chance put A.I. & Co. out of their misery in Game 5 at the House That Shaq Built...blow it and prolong the series for no good reason. Then they'd close it out in Denver in an unnecessary Game 6.

Shows what I know.

Sure, Denver was a challenger to the 2001 Blazers for title of "Most Screwed Up 50-Win Team in NBA History." No, they weren't the truest test. Yes, it will be much more difficult next month.

But these Lakers are serious. These Lakers are ready.

Last night's win was efficient and clutch. Like the great Lakers teams of the beginning of this century, who at one point won twelve straight closeout games over the course of four postseasons, these Lakers showed they know how to execute down the stretch of tight playoff games.

A familiar face led them, in a familiar performance.

Say what you want about Kobe Bean Bryant - and what hasn't been said? - but on a 94-foot piece of hardwood, the man is pretty much beyond reproach. It's unfortunate Kobe involves himself in so much controversy; we don't spend enough time talking about his game. Just the little subtle things, like the little pivot move he put on Najera before setting up DJ Mbenga for an easy dunk last night, a display of shockingly good footwork. Kobe's game is so polished and refined that it's ridiculous; he's taken every single basketball skill that can be taught and learned (and probably a few more that he concocted) be made and put it in his repotoire, ready to be used as an action or a reaction, a move or a countermove, at a moment's notice. Mixed with his creativity and supreme natural ability, he has an answer for every possible scenario, every instance of defense.

Kobe is the most spectacular shotmaker ever; he can get to the basket whenever he chooses; he's a great midrange shooter and a very good three-point shooter; he makes more shots under duress than anyone ever; he's probably twice as good as anyone else when it comes to using pump fakes to draw fouls, and he's an 85% foul shooter; he doesn't get many touches on the low-block, but when he does there isn't a better low-post scoring guard in basketball; he's probably most dangerous in the mid-block/foul-line area; he has the tightest handle of any non-point guard to ever play; and he's a terrific passer, which is probably the most underrated thing about his game.

On top of that, he's good for 5-6 rebounds a game and stellar defense (both team and individual, especially when winning or losing depends on his ability to stop the other team's best perimeter guy and he becomes the best lockdown artist since a ticked-off MJ in his prime).

Was Michael Jordan a better player than Kobe Bryant? Yes.

Was Michael Jordan a more skilled player than Kobe Bryant? No, and I say that with confidence.

But as Kobe might say, I shouldn't shake that tree, because a leopard might fall out, in the form of angry Jordan loyalists (I swear by MJ, too, but I'm also objective). Then again, it might already be too late for that. Oh, well. Fill up the comment box with

Anyways, I can also say with confidence that Kobe has never been a more complete basketball player than he is right now. He's 29 and at that point in an athlete's career when his combination of athleticism, skills, and intelligence meet to form the most effective version of him. It also helps that he's playing on a great team, with a perfect No. 2 to his Dr. Evil in Gasol, a perfect No. 3 star in Odom, and the deepest collection of role players in the league: Fisher, Radmanovic, Walton, Farmar, Vujacic, Turiaf, and even Mbenga.

(And no, I haven't forgotten about you, Andrew and Trevor, I just haven't seen you in awhile. Hope to see you soon.)

Kobe is most impressive when he doesn't have to carry the team everynight, and to me was more impressive this season than he was two years ago when he averaged 35 a game on a mediocre Lakers team. He's able to do more because he has to do less.

He's in his ideal situation, it would seem: He's The Man on a championship contender and he doesn't have to win every game by himself. He won Game 2 with a spectacular performance and scored 14 points in the fourth quarter of the win Monday nght. Gasol was the star of Game 1 and it was a complete team effort in the blowout that was Game 3.

He lifts his team up, and they do the same to him. A month-and-a-half from now, they may lift up the trophy together.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Kobe's greatest playoff hits



49 points, 10 assists, 18-of-27 shooting, tons of smack talk and cockiness, and enough theatrics for a performance on Broadway - that was Kobe last night. And it got me to thinking: What is Kobe Bryant's greatest playoff performance? Well, I'll give you the choices to choose from; but I'm not into making lists really, so sorry. You'll have to decide for yourself.

(Note: I excluded Game 6 against Phoenix in 2006 because they lost the game, and Game 2 last year against Phoenix because it was the only game they won in the series. Those were my two cuts.)

2000

6/4/00, Game 7, Western Conference Finals, Staples Center: Lakers 89, Portland 84
Kobe's line: 47 minutes, 25 points, 11 rebounds, 7 assists, 4 blocks.


This was the game where the Lakers rallied from a 15-point deficit in the fourth quarter against Scottie, Sheed, and Co. to get back to the Finals for the first time since 1991. Portland did a better job of defending Shaq in that series that anybody ever did before he got old. Kobe led the team in points and had game-highs in boards, dishes, and blocks.

Highlight Reel: "The lob - to Shaq." - Bob Costas. As a Lakers fan, I am forever grateful to Costas for immortalizing that moment in Laker lore for me. Notable because of how badly Kobe fractured Scottie's ankle's at the top of the three-point line, and for how high Shaq got up to get to that ball. Back then, you could throw the ball practically to the moon and he would go up and get it. How times have changed.

6/14/00, Game 4, NBA Finals, Conseco Fieldhouse: Lakers 120, Pacers 118 OT
Kobe's line: 47 mins, 28 pts, 4 rebs, 5 asts, 2 blks, 14-27 shooting.


Shaq fouled out in OT with 36 and 21, leaving Kobe to save the day by scoring 8 of his 28 points in the extra period, and tipping in a missed shot by Brian Shaw for the game-winner. I watched the end of this game on a small-screen TV at El Cholo's.

2001

5/13/01, Game 4, Western Conference Semifinals, Arco Arena: Lakers 119, Kings 113
Kobe's line: 48 mins, 48 pts, 16 rebs, 3 asts, 2 stls, 15-29 shooting.


Well, that stat line speaks for itself. I have the ESPN version of this game on tape, and let me tell ya...no 22 year-old player has ever been more polished offensively. Ever. LA gets it's second of three consecutive sweeps to start the playoffs.

5/19/01, Game 1, Western Conference Finals, Alamodome: Lakers 104, Spurs 90
Kobe's line: 47 mins, 45 pts, 10 rebs, 3 asts, 19-35 shooting.


This was the very next game, if you didn't notice. After this one, Shaq famously said, "I think he's the best player in the league. By far." The Kobe-Shaq relationship thawed that night, and they would play nice for more than two years after that.

2002

5/12/02, Game 4, Western Conference Semifinals, Alamodome: Lakers 87, Spurs 85
Kobe's line: 44 mins, 28 pts, 7 rebs, 3 asts.


The numbers don't tell the story here. Kobe was never more clutch than he was in this series. I mean, you talk about a closer. This is the game where Kobe stretched his left arm all the way back to snag an offensive rebound off of a Derek Fisher missed shot, came down, then went back up like a pogo-stick and scored the game-winning layup. He just wanted it more. For my money, the single greatest play of Kobe's career.

6/9/02, Game 3, NBA Finals, Izod Center: Lakers 106, Nets 103
Kobe's line: 46 mins, 36 pts, 6 rebs, 4 asts, 2 blks, 14-23 shooting.


This was the game where Kobe made a jumper with Kenyon Martin's hand literally in his face down the stretch. Another very clutch performance. People might remember this one more if the series wasn't completely one-sided. A complete walkover. Like taking candy from a baby.

2004

4/28/04, Game 5, Western Conference first-round series, Staples Center: Lakers 97, Rockets 78
Kobe's line: 41 minutes, 31 pts, 6 rebs, 10 asts, 3 stls, 12-21 shooting.


Kobe flies to Colorado to attend legal proceedings, flies back to Los Angeles and arrives at the arena four minutes before tipoff, eliminates Rockets all in one day. Man those were crazy times.

5/11/04, Game 4, Western Conference Semifinals, Staples Center: Lakers 98, Spurs 90
Kobe's line: 45 mins, 42 pts, 5 rebs, 5 asts, 3 stls, 15-27 shooting.


Kobe flies to Colorado and enters a plea of "not guilty" to sexual assault, flies back to Los Angeles, nods up series versus Spurs. Have this one on tape, too, the real, uncut, TNT version: At 25, Kobe may already have been the best pure scorer in the history of the game.

6/8/04, Game 2, NBA Finals, Staples Center: Lakers 99, Pistons 91 OT
Kobe's line: 49 mins, 33 pts, 4 rebs, 7 asts, 2 stls, 14-27 shooting.


Kobe hits the three over Rip to send the game to OT, where L.A. got the W. After the game, Larry Brown drew criticism for not instructing his team to foul Kobe before he got up the shot. The Lakers would lose the next three games and that would be that, which took a lot of it's luster away. But at the time? HUUUUUUUUGE shot, especially when you consider that up to that point he had only made 4-of-28 three-point attempts in the fourth quarter during the playoffs.

Then again, in a way, that just makes it a typical Kobe shot. But I can't leave it out because of the magnitude of the shot at the moment he made it.

2008

4/23/08, Game 2, Western Conference first-round, Lakers 122, Nuggets
Kobe's line: 42 mins, 49 pts, 4 rebs, 10 asts, 18-of-27 shooting.


You saw the game. Besides, at this point, what more can you say about the man? He's one of the greats.

Let's hope he has a few more in him this postseason, and the ones that follow. He isn't going to last forever, we better enjoy him while he's still here.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Was Andrew Bynum's injury a blessing in disguise?



Could it be?

Is it possible the knee injury that has derailed the previously skyrocketing Andrew "Big" Bynum since December was a good thing?

Just think about it for a second.

When the A-Bomb got hurt, the Lakers were 24-11 and on an upward trajectory. Bynum was averaging a 13, 10, and 2 blocks on 64 percent shooting, but those numbers don't begin to tell the true story of Bynum's ascent. He was averaging a 19-13-3 in five December games before he sustained the injury against Memphis, and he was just beginning to post-up. The Lakers were beginning to look scarier and scarier with each passing game.

Then, he came down on Lamar Odom's foot and went to the ground, clutching his knee in pain (and as he lay on the court writhing under the Grizzlies basket, Pau Gasol took a pass from Mike Conley and scored a layup. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Weird, no?)

The Lakers lost 4 of 7 immediately after the injury and it was looking hopeless in Lakerdom. They were sliding, and likely would have kept on sliding, right on out of the playoffs and into the lottery. Then it was announced that they had acquired Gasol and a giddy Kobe scored 76 points on 29-of-43 shooting in blowout road wins over Toronto and Washington. Really, it turned the season back around.

But if Andrew doesn't go down, it's likely that Gasol's 36-16-8 performance against Denver Sunday never takes place. The Lakers would have been contenders without him and only Bynum; Gasol took the Lakers from less than a million over the luxury tax to more than $4 million over this year, and almost $8 million next year (assuming the threshold remains roughly the same), before the likely re-signing's of Sasha Vujacic and Ronny Turiaf.

What I'm trying to say is that the Gasol trade had to be happen in order for the Lakers to stay alive this year, but that it wouldn't have happened if Bynum hadn't gotten hurt. Now, they're looking at a 65-plus win season next year when Bynum returns full strength (and at least top-flight contender status for five seasons after that, a potential mini-dynasty if they decide to keep Lamar in the mix - he becomes a free-agent following next season and his future with the team after that is up in the air) only they're also deadly as hell right now and might win the championship without him this year (and for the record, I don't think he'll be back.)

In other words, as good as they look right now, they're not even as scary as they're gonna be yet. Terror is impending. But it wouldn't be possible if Andrew Bymum hadn't hurt his knee.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Lakers ironic season should win Kobe MVP



It's a funny thing about MVP's. Not just in the NBA, but in every sport. Virtually every year, there's more than one guy who deserves the award. But only one can win it. And so the question becomes, Who is the most deserving, and the answer to that question is almost always subjective. A.I. won the MVP in 2001; I think pretty much everyone agreed with that pick. But since then? Tim Duncan won it in 2002; many thought Jason Kidd was flat-out robbed. Duncan won it again in 2003; many felt Kevin Garnett got hosed. Kevin did win in 2004, and most thought it was a pretty easy choice, but at the time, Bill Simmons wrote: "Tim Duncan is the best player in the league. He should always be the MVP if he's healthy. Always. Always. Always." It was a legitimate argument then, and it still is. Tim Duncan is the best all-around big man ever, and he's still in his prime. His team wins the championship every other year. And even when they don't win, they're right there in the mix. For at least the next season and maybe the next two seasons, there's still nobody I'd rather build my team around than Tim Duncan. He's the real MVP. Always is. But I digress.

Anyways, back to my original point (what was it again?) Steve Nash won in 2005, but Shaq had a very strong case himself. In 2006 Nash won again, but Kobe and LeBron could've won just as easily. Last year, Dirk got the honor for being the best player on the best team - but Nash's numbers were pretty much identical to the previous season, and he won 61 games himself. Needless to say, this isn't an exact science. And usually, there is no clear-cut winner or consensus "right" choice.

Whatever. This year, there are three prime candidates for the Maurice Podoloff Trophy: Chris Paul, Kobe, and KG. I think LeBron, supernatural phenomenon that he is, fell out of the race when Cleveland struggled down the stretch and sort of limped to 45 wins in a very weak Eastern Conference. That's not gonna cut it. So sorry.

Kevin, though, led the Celtics to 66-wins, third-best in franchise history. That's a 42-game turnaround from the previous year, an NBA record. He's the best defensive player in the league - like a basketball version of Brian Urlacher with the amount of ground he covers - and along with Kobe and A.I. the most intense and competitive player in the sport. And his entire essence has spread to the rest of his team, who played every game of the regular season like it was Game 7 of the Finals. The Celtics were a historically good defensive team this year - they held opponents to only 41.9 percent shooting, and Garnett was at the center of it.

But the Celtics went 9-2 without him this season - I understand that his personality had such an impact on the culture of the team that even when he wasn't in the lineup, his impact was still felt on the court. But still. Neither Kobe nor Paul could have missed 11 games and seen their teams go 9-2. For those reasons, I can't give it to him. He deserves it, but I don't think he's the most deserving, so in my book, he doesn't deserve to win, if you follow me.

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It has been said that this season Chris Paul submitted the best year in the history of the point guard position, or at least the best non-Magic years. Don't know about any of that. What I do know is that Paul has the ball in his hands as much as any player I've ever seen, and that he's as responsible for manufacturing points as anyone I've ever seen. I know that he's as good at setting up his teammates in positions to score as you can possibly be, and that he can get anywhere he wants to on the floor at any time. You can't run a team any better than Chris Paul ran the Hornets this season. I watched him his rookie year and was absolutely shocked at how in control he was of his club for such a young player, and he's only gotten better. On top of that, he's probably the best defensive point guard in the league.

Most importantly, though, he took a team that would probably win 20 games without him to 56 wins, the second highest victory total in the most competitive year for a conference ever.

But I still can't give him the MVP.

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I don't know what to say about me and Kobe. Five years ago, I found myself defending him all the time. Now, it's like I've put so much thought into him over the years that I don't have much to say about him, and I definitely don't want to write about him. Or maybe it's that if I do have a lot to say about him, only if I got started, I might never stop. The guy is complicated like that. He drives you crazy.

Thus, I'll keep it short, simple, and to the point: I think Kobe deserves the MVP because he played the most impressive all-around basketball of his career in leading his team to the best record in the best conference in basketball history. He's was the best all-around player in the league when he played with Shaq, but couldn't win it then because he was only the second most important player on his own team, obviously. Then Shaq left, and he was still the most complete player, but he didn't have the team success to go with his individual prowess. This year, he did.

Nobody expected Kobe to even be on the Lakers at this point in the season. Yet here he stands, still on the Lakers, with homecourt advantage throughout the playoffs, the favorite to win the Western Conference. This year has been about Kobe and the Lakers more than anything else, and the only way for the MVP award to reflect that is for Bean to win it.

I mean, it just feels like Kobe's year this year, doesn't it? As Snoop from The Wire once said, "It's just his time, that's all."

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Lakers First Round Preview

Copyright 2008 NBAE (Photo by Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE via Getty Images)


As the Los Angeles Lakers enter the first round of the 2008 NBA Playoffs, there are a lot of things they need to know. Referring to what Anthony said, I think the only upset in the West would be the Houston Rockets winning. Other than that, I see no upsets. Despite the Denver Nuggets being a number 8 seed (with no defensive ability), they still can give a fight.


The Lakers have had their defensive slumps. They have allowed teams to score at will in certain instances. It cannot happen now. The Lakers' ability to defend that dreaded pick-and-roll is the key for the Lakers' success.


In general, nobody will be able to guard Kobe Bryant, and the overwhelming frontcourt of Vladimir Radmanovic, Lamar Odom, Pau Gasol, and even bodies like Chris Mihm and DJ Mbenga (in Andrew Bynum's period of rehab). The Nuggets have tremendous scoring ability, and as long as four of them are sober, they will score points. Let's just hope the Lakers end up with more at the end of each game.


Lakers in 6.


To Be Continued...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Lakers-Nuggets First Round Preview



So I'm sitting in the kichen at the ol' PS3 (raising my created player version of Derrick Rose through "Association" mode on NBA 2K8) when the subject of the now-forthcoming Lakers-Nuggets first-round series comes up. The Mavericks just got finished dispatching of the Hornets on ESPN, and in the process locked up the No. 7 seed in the West and rendered the outcome of Denver's regular season finale with Memphis (in progress) moot. The Nuggets will be your No. 8 seed, and their prize will be Los Laguneros, who clinched the No. 1 seed by pounding Sacto at the Staples Center last night.

Anyways, my dad starts going over all of the big names the Nuggets have on their roster. A.I. 'Melo. Camby. K-Mart. They've been places. They've done things. On top of that, in George Karl they have a head coach with playoff experience and success (made the Finals in '96 with the Sonics, almost made it again in '01 with Milwaukee) and a couple scorers off the bench (Kleiza and Smith).

But I don't care who they have.

Denver is 49-33 in the most competitive conference in NBA history. They have a good basketball team, and they are an offensive juggernaut (110.5 points a game, second behind only G-State). But at the end of the day, to paraphrase Bill Parcells, you are what your seed says you are. The Nuggets are an 8 seed. They finished seven games behind the Lakers in the standings. And while G-State proved last year that the game really is all about matchups, Denver doesn't matchup well with these Lakers. L.A. is too structured and the Nuggs have nobody who has a snowball's chance in hell of even containing Kobe. Camby is a great help defender, but I don't see him offering that much resistance against Gasol one-on-one. Five years ago, Kenyon Martin might have given Lamar Odom hell (remember what he did to Antoine Walker?), but he's not the defender he once was. You'd rather have Derrick Fisher than Anthony Carter, and the Lakers have the best bench in the league (Farmar, Vujacic, Walton, Turiaf) and the best shooter in the series.

Furthermore, they can throw Kobe on A.I. in crunch time and he can take him out of the game as a scorer. Maybe he can't stay with him for a whole game, but he's always had success defending him for extended periods, like the fourth quarter of the game in Denver this year (Iverson had 49 on 23 shots thru three quarters but only 2 on 4 attempts with Kobe hounding him in the fourth), and a game in Philly in 2000, when he held him scorless in the second half.

But don't take my word for it. The Lakers went 3-0 versus Denver this season, winning by an average of 16 points. The proof is in the pudding.

Bynum or no Bynum (and as time goes on I think it's becoming pretty clear that he's probably not going to be back this season). Lakers in 6.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

A Toast to Mr. Ewing



On Monday, it was announced that Patrick Ewing had been selected for induction into the James Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall-of-Fame. On Sunday, I watched a moving tribute to him on YouTube, with Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" playing in the background. I almost started crying. It was sad. I mean, poor Pat. Did any athlete ever work harder to win the ultimate prize, only to come up empty time and time again and ultimately come up short? I'm not so sure.

Why didn't Pat ever win a championship? For the same reasons Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, and John Stockton never did, mostly. In other words, he had the misfortune of belonging to the same era as Michael Jordan. Pat could never beat Michael. Ever. Not in college. Not in any of the six times he faced him in the Eastern Conference playoffs. Never. It just wasn't happening. Once Mike won the first one, it was pretty much over; save for the two year period when he was either playing baseball or still shaking off the rust from retirement, nobody else had a chance from 1991-1998. When the door opened briefly in '93 and '94, Hakeem peaked, and their was nothing you could do about that, either. The Knicks made the Finals in '94, lost in 7 to the Rockets, and didn't make it back until 1999, by which time Patrick was 36 and failed to average 20 points for the first time in his career. That year, the Knicks lost to the Spurs in 5 games, with Patrick forced to sit out the series with an achilles tendon injury. It just wasn't in the cards.

Still, though, Patrick had one hell of a run. He was one of the greatest college players of all-time, the star of the most intimidating En-Cee-Double-Ay hoops squads ever, and won a championship in 1984 with the Hoyas, under the tutelage of Big John. He played 17 seasons in the NBA, made 11 All-Star teams, and won Rookie of the Year in 1986. First-team All-NBA in 1990 (28.6 pts, 10.9 rebounds, 4.0 blocks). Amassed 24, 815 points (20th all-time) and 2, 894 blocks (7th all-time). He waged some unforgettable battles against MJ and Scottie in the early 90's, and while his Knicks never could quite get to the top of the mountain, they were in contention for most of his time there. He was one of the deadliest shooting big men in the history of the sport, and the image of him trudging up and down the court for the 'Bockers, with the flattop squared perfectly atop his dome, his mug drenched in perspiration, double-sized sweatbands on his wrists, white padding on his knees, is an indelible one.

Patrick was the heart and soul of not only the Knicks, but Gotham sports in general in the first half of the '90's, NYC faithful's most consistent source of quality athletic entertainment with the Jets, Mets, and Yankees all struggling and the Giants up-and-down. You can make an argument that he was the greatest player in franchise history. Furthermore, the man was simply a warrior (I know you've heard that before) - you could never accuse him of not trying hard enough, of not giving 100% effort, of not playing with enough dedication. Ewing left everything he had on the Madison Square Garden floor, committing himself wholeheartedly to his organiztion, his teammates, and his city.

And when you do that, some fancy-schmancy little piece of jewelry becomes almost inconsequential. Patrick Ewing didn't need no damn ring to solidify his career. He was a champion without it.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

You have to foul!



I got the Final Four right, so that was good, but once my prediction for the outcome of the finale - UNC over UCLA - crashed and burned on Saturday, I came into Monday night not really caring who won the national championship. Like most people this time of year, my alliegance's in the tournament lie with my bracket, not any particular team. That's how I base my rooting interest.

So when the time came, I got to just sit back and enjoy a thrilling game between the two best teams in college basketball, no strings attatched. The only thing I was hoping for was a thrilling finish, and I was obliged.

A few observations:

1. All season long, there were two concerns/questions about this Memphis team's ability/inability to win the whole damn 'chip that kept getting raised: 1) Have they played tough enough competition? and 2) Will their poor free throw shooting come back to haunt them? Well, they answered the first one in resounding fashion by thrashing Michigan St., Texas, and UCLA by a combined 51 points in the three games leading up to the finale. And it appeared that they had answered the second one, too: 80 of 89 (89.8 percent). CDR (34 of 40) and Derrick Rose (24 0f 27) were beginning to resemble Rip Hamilton and Chauncey Billups with their big-game swagger. Of course, as Billy Packer pointed out last night, it's a lot easier to make them when you're up by 20. And true indeed, last night, in a much more competitive ballgame, with the lights shining their brightest, poor foul shooting came back and bit them in the ass: up 62-58 with 1:15 left in regulation, CDR missed the front end of a one-and-one. 59 seconds later, with the score now 62-60, he missed two more. Six seconds later, Rose missed the first of two before sinking the second, but the damage had already been done. The door had been left ajar. Which leads us into our next observation...

2. I think it should become a rule, really: If you're up by three with between ten and three seconds to go, you have to foul before the three is attempted. You have to. If you don't, you forfeit your next possession. Okay, not really. But you have to foul. Obviously, there's a chance the guy will throw up a wild attempt the second he realizes he's being fouled intentionally and the ref will give him three free throws, but I don't think I've ever seen that happen before. If the ref realizes you're fouling intentionally to prevent a game-tying three, he's not going to give the guy three foul shots. Besides, in this case, Rose could have fouled Sherron Collins the second he touched the ball, in the backcourt, 90 feet away from the basket. But he didn't. And now, this is the story.

Of course, as Simmons pointed out today, the argument can be made that Memphis is the only team that shouldn't have fouled in that situation because it would stop the clock and they would have to make free-throws on the other end. But I suppose if you can't make foul shots down the stretch in a hotly contested game, you really don't deserve to win. That's what championship teams do, right? Come through in pressure situations.

3. Rose finished with 18 points, 8 assists, 6 rebounds and 2 steals in the National Championship - and somehow, it seemed like a subpar game. You know you're a superstar when that happpens. But yeah, I thought Collins did an excellent job on him, especially in that first half. Darren Collison is long and lean; Drew Neitzel and D.J. Augustine are stronger, but none of them are as strong as the squatty (I love that word) Collins, who's a 5-11, 205 pound bundle of power. He was more adept to handle Rose than those other three.

4. Did Kansas win it or did Memphis lose it? I think Memphis lost it in regulation and Kansas won it in overtime. The answer is: both.

5. It always kills me when a college player hits a big-time shot in a big-time game, like Mario Chalmers did last night. The balls these kids have are incredible. I'm in college; I wish I knew what it was like to be so icy.

6. What is this Kansas team's legacy? They remind me of that '98 Kentucky team with Scott Padgett and Nazr Mohammed; I don't know if any of the players on this Kansas team will be anything more than role players at the next level. (As much as I like Brandon Rush, he reminds me of Devean George.) Doesn't matter. They had a deep, athletic collection of excellent college players who sacraficed individuals numbers for the sake of the team, embraced their roles and never strayed from the all-for-one, one-for-all concept. A fabulous college team, even though I must admit I wasn't drinking the Kansas Kool-Aid until two days ago when they destroyed Carolina.

7. Coach Self, you've got it made now. You just won Kansas their first national title in 20 years, so the Lawrence faithful won't hold it against you if you take the cash and dash. $10 million for the first year?!?! Are they really offering you $10 million for the first year?!?!

Anyways, spock, talk, Mohawk and all that good stuff. Congratulations, fellas. You deserve it.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Seeing through Rose-colored glasses



Let's make something very clear here, right from the outset: Michael Beasley was the best player in college basketball this season. It's indisputable. Tyler Hansbrough may very well win Player of the Year, and probably deserves it: he's an upperclassman who putting up a 23-10 on an ACC team that's 36-2 heading into their Final Four matchup with Kansas on Saturday. That resume pretty much speaks for itself.

But Beasley was the best player.

Maybe Kevin Durant captured more of your imagination, but Beasley had just as good a year. And his game and body translate directly into the NBA. As I've written before, he's the most talented college power forward since Chris Webber.

And with all that being said, Derrick Rose should be the first overall selection in the upcoming draft.

Forget for a second the concerns surrounding Beasley's maturity (or lackthereof). That doesn't even factor here. And for the sake of the argument, let's throw out team needs, or roster makeup. In fact, let me rephrase my assertion:

Derrick Rose is, at least in my opinion, the #1 prospect in the upcoming draft. He's the most valuable. He's the guy you'd most want to build yor team around.

In the wake of Deron Williams and Chris Paul, two world-class point guards under the age of 24 who have spurred their franchise into serious contention, someone like Rose is as attractive as ever. Rose's potential is limitless: at 6-3, 205 lbs, he's big and has a strong, well-defined, NBA-ready body. He's an excellent rebounder for the position (4.4 a night in only 28.6 minutes per), and he can run the offense in the half-court or push the pace. He plays under control. He's a top-flight competitor who raises his game when it matters (20.5, 6, and 6 on 58 percent so far in the tourney). And most impressive of all, he might be the best athlete to ever play the position.

Think a young Jason Kidd, only with a better jumper and insane hops.

Think a young Gary Payton, only if Payton dunked on putbacks and threw down Kobe-esque reverses on fast breaks.

Think a younger Stevie Francis, but with a pure point guard's game (like the 2001 Francis mixed with CP3, that's probably the most apt comparison.)

Think a guy who can lead your team to a championship.

Not that Beasley couldn't, but as good as he is, he's not a center and he's not a gamechanger defensively. He's not a dominant shotblocker. He's not an anchor. He's not Tim Duncan. He might become the first player to average a 30-10 since Karl Malone in 1990, but what will it all mean, ultimately, if you get my drift. Meaning no disrespect.

But imagine Rose, teammed with talented forwards Durant (playing splendidly the last month) and Jeff Green with the Sonics. Picture Rose, feeding Al Jefferson in Minnesota.

(Although to be fair, a pairing of Beasley and D-Wade in MIA would also be dynamite. As would throwing B-Easy into the mix with Mike Conley, Kyle Lowry, M&M, Rudy Gay, and Hakim Warrick down in Tennessee. Of course, that's taking into account roster makeup. Which we aren't doing, so let's move on.)

The Jordans and LeBrons and Kobes and Wades are few and far between; the seven footer who protects the rim, controls the boards, and funnels the offense is and will always be the most valuable commodity. But other than that, and especially with the way the game has sped up in recent years, a dominant point guard - a guy who can get into the lane at will, score 20 a night, get double digit assists, and basically run the offense to a T, like Rose will do at the next level - is the fastest way for an irrelevant team to become meaningful. Like Williams and Paul, Steve Nash took a team mired in mediocrity and made them matter. Also like Williams and Paul, his team will figure prominently in what happens over the next 2 1/2 months.

Someday soon, the NBA team Rose is on will have an important stake in the proceedings, too. Even more so than Beasley's.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Chris Webber: Star-crossed and now retired



Did I cause Chris Webber to retire?

Because if I did, I didn't mean to.

One day after I wrote an article in which I basically said (among other things) that I can't wait to see if Michael Beasley ends up becoming a failure like him (bad as it sounds and as bad as I felt writing it, that's what it was and that's the way I feel), Webb has decided to call it a career. He goes out on a whimper.

The disappointing, ill-fated arc of Chris' career started 15 years ago in New Orleans, at the Superdome, in the Wolverine's second consecutive NCAA title game appearance, when Webb called the timeout his team didn't have against North Carolina. It is one of the most imfamous and costly gaffes in sports history, no question, but it's real weight rests in it's foreshadowing and symbolism: it was sad, it was unfortunate, and it was the first hint that perhaps Webber was not one that was meant for the big moments. Remember, before he called the timeout he clearly traveled; I was like 5 years old when that happened, but if it happened today, I would immediately be like, "Uh-oh. Can this guy be trusted? Should a potential NBA franchise guy look that nervous in crunch-time? Isn't this a serious cause for concern?"

Webber was the leader of the greatest class of players on one team in college basketball history, and the coolest amateur squad ever. Just as much, the young Webber gave the world a glimpse of basketball perfection: 6-10, long-limbed, grown-man body. Impossibly soft hands, some of the best ever. Explosive and agile. Ran the court like a guard, handled and dished like one, too. Shot with range and finished around the hoop with touch. He was the complete package, and then some.

And by most standards, he had an outstanding NBA career. He played 15 seasons, winning Rookie of the Year, making 5 All-Star teams and a first-team All-NBA in 2001. Led the league in rebounding in '99 (the strike year, but still). He averaged 21, 10, and 4 for his career and was the best player on some really good Sacramento teams. He was one of the best passing big men of all-time and one of the top-3 power forwards of his era. And when he peaked from 2000-2003 with Sacramento - 24.8 points, 10.6 rebounds, 4.7 dimes, 1.5 steals and 1.5 blocks on 48 percent shooting - the four position, at least offensively, peaked with him. 19 footers, hook shots, murderous dunks, in-game contests with Vlade to see who could throw the more deft wrap-arounds, ludicrous handle for a man his size, and ball-control wizardry. I'll never forget it. Then, when a knee injury robbed him of his athleticism at 30, he learned to play on the ground, relying on supreme basketball skill and knowledge to remain a highly effective, 19 and 9-type player, the version of him that I admired the most.

Yet with Webber, we'll always remember him for who he wasn't and what he didn't do than what he was and what he did do. We'll remember that despite the gifts that should've made him the best power forward ever, he never won an MVP and never played in the Finals. We'll remember the bad moments, like his shrinking performance in the waning moments of Game 7 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals. We'll remember the moments that made him seem like the unluckiest basketball player in the world, like that fateful night in Louisiana or when he blew out his knee in Game 2 of the 2003 Western Semi's against Dallas, just when it seemed that the Kings had the best team and were going to win the whole damn thing. We'll remember that he was injury prone. We'll remember the fact that he played in back-to-back NCAA title games and lost both of them, a precursor to his pro career and his ultimate legacy:

He couldn't win the big one.

Is that fair? I guess. But whatever the case, Webber seemed satisfied today at the press conference announcing his retirement. He says he doesn't feel like going through the drudges of rehabbing his troublesome knee and that he's happy with what he's accomplished, which is good, and which is definitely the most important thing.

But for the rest of us? It's just the final chapter in the saga of an incomplete and mischanced career.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Talented Mr. Beasley



You know, the more I think about it, I don't know if I've ever anticipated an amateur athlete's transition into a professional sports league like I'm awaiting Michael Beasley's into the NBA. Well, other than Reggie Bush. And LeBron - well, obviously LeBron. Oh, oh, and Kevin Dura-- well, you get the point. I was excited about those guys, and I'm very eager to see how this Beasley guy pans out.

You see, Beasley is the most gifted college power forward since Chris Webber, and is often compared to a young Derrick Coleman. Beasley is 6-10, he's left-handed, he has an NBA-ready body, he can score with his back to the basket or facing up, he's a very good three-point shooter, he can handle it, he led the nation in rebounding this season. I can't see him struggling with the game of basketball.

Of course, that's only half the battle. Coleman had all the tools to be a legend, but was lazy as hell and a complete misfit. Webber was arguably even more talented, and was a much better pro - 5-time All-Star, 2001 All-NBA 1st Team, still at 20 and 10 for his career - but he was one of the least clutch superstars of the past 20 years, and he was never quite as good as he could've/should've been. More than anything, he just seemed like an unlucky guy: starting with the timeout in '93 and culminating ten years later - when Chris blew out his knee in the second round of the '03 playoffs, just when it seemed that the Kings had the best team in the league and he was finally going to win the Big One and forever extricate himself from columns like this - Webber is without a doubt the most star-crossed athlete of my lifetime. Doomed from the very start.

(Notice how everything in the previous paragraph about Webber was written in the past tense, even though officially he's still on an NBA roster.)

In a similar vein, this article about Beasley from his senior year in high school makes him sound like the black version of Dennis the Menace: tagging, throwing sticks at teacher's houses, wearing pajamas to the school cafeteria, etc., and eventually getting kicked out of Oak Hill for his antics. Obviously he was young then, and he's still young; he'll mature with age, as we all do. And he's already shown signs - earlier this year, he was quoted as saying:

"I'm still a kid; I'm still irresponsible and I want to still be irresponsible sometimes. When I go to the NBA, that's over. My life is America's life. LeBron James gets a speeding ticket, the cop goes on with his day and LeBron is all over 'SportsCenter.' Britney Spears shaves her head, it's everywhere. You shave your hair, who cares? That's why I'm not sure I'm ready for the NBA.

"I mean, what's being famous anyway? It's a popularity contest. Don't get me wrong. I'm lucky. I love my life, but I just don't understand it. I brush my teeth with the same Crest. I use the same bar of soap. My house gets junky just like yours. I'm just a regular guy who can play basketball. I'm normal."

Those are the words of a well-grounded, level-headed, self-aware young man. While it may be immature for him to say that he still wants to be immature sometimes, it shows maturity that he realizes that he may not yet be mature enough for the NBA, if you follow me. By all accounts, he's been on his best behavior this year at K-State. And nobody ever said he was a bad kid, only that he makes bad decisions. He's never been in any real trouble. He doesn't have any priors, or anything like that (although immaturity can lead a person in that direction). So maybe he'll turn out just fine.

Or, maybe he won't.

And that's kind of the point: I don't know. Nobody does. That's why whenever there's a concern about a prospect, be it his character or his size or his fragility or whatever, it's called a question mark; there is no definitive solution yet, and there is no foolproof way to predict. Which is why Beasley is so intriguing to me. Will he prove to be a troublemaker, a talented but juvenile headache for every team he plays on, someone who generally drives everyone around him crazy? The WaPo piece also said that he stopped lifting weights because the gym wasn't warm enough and he didn't want to catch a cold. Will his skill-set dwarf his desire?

In other words, will he ultimately end up frustrating and pissing us off, like Coleman did?

In the end will he leave us disappointed, confused, and feeling a little sympathetic for him, like Webber did?

Or will he cash in on his vast potential, like those two never completely did?

That is the query. The answer lies in wait, just over the horizon.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

I really, really dislike Bruce Bowen



Bruce Bowen, on his recent 1-game supension for striking Chris Paul with his leg:

"I'm a Christian. Sometimes when we feel like we're wrongfully accused, you have to look at it as people we try to emulate our lives after were wrongfully accused. It's about how you handle that, more than anything else."

Now, I wasn't around for the first half of Bill Laimbeer's career, so I can't really speak to the vitrolic hatred all basktball players and fans outside of Detroit had for him back in the day. But no worries...with Bowen around, I know what it's like to carry an intense dislike for someone I don't even know. I don't understand why Basketball nation doesn't have more contempt for him than they show - this is a guy that sticks his foot under the offensive player when he's up in the air on a jumpshot, which has led to sprained ankles for Steve Francis, Jamal Crawford, and Vince Carter. He kneed Steve Nash in the groin, kicked Amare Stoudemire in the ankle from behind as Amare went up for a dunk, and kicked Wally Sczerbiak in the face like he was Bruce Leroy. He also likes to try and trip people. His most recent offense was the aforementioned cheap shot on Paul (although it did look like CP3 might have delivered a sneaky little low-blow of his own - might have). As always, he threw his hands up and acted like he didn't do anything, which may be the part that pisses me off the most. Now he's bringing his faith into it - and using it for a deceitful purpose, to make his disingenuosness seem more genuine. I mean, what kind of person does that? What the hell is up with this guy? Do his teammates really like him? And if they do, what does that say about them? I'm not even trying to ride the high horse, but this Bruce Bowen character has gotta be stopped, man. He's gotta be stopped.

Will somebody just punch him in the face already?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Bobby Knight: Calm Before the Storm


"You think this is funny, don't you Rece? You think this is a goddamned joke."

You know who's really good on TV? Bobby Knight. Obviously he knows a lot about basketball, but he's also articulate and precise in giving his points. But the best part about the "Bob Knight as ESPN basketball analyst" gimmick/experience is that while he hasn't gone off yet, you know that there's a chance that he will, and it could happen at any moment. Actually, it's not just a chance that he's going to lose it at some point, it's an inevitably. He probably genuinely likes his peers (Hubert Davis, Digger, Bilas, and Vitale) and I'm sure he respects them and their opinions because he knows they've all coached/played before, but from what he's shown us over the years, I mean, he's gotta detest shows of this nature, even though he decided to be a part of it, if that makes any sense. And by nature he must hate Reece Davis, in the same way that dogs carry animosity towards cats.

One of these nights during the Tourney, Rece is going to do something like ask him the question two different ways, or try and play Devil's Advocate on one of the answers he gives, and Knight's gonna snap and say:

"Now you listen to me, you little f----n' pip squeak, this ain't a presidential debate and I'm not here to argue this s--t with you. You're not Hilary and I'm not Obama so I'm not gonna sit here and go back and forth with you."

And then Rece is going to try and undermine the situation, but Knight is gonna cut him off mid-sentence.

"Shut that s--t up. It's my turn to talk, you talk too much as it is. You sit here every f----n' night and ask me these stupid goddamned questions with that little smirk on your face. You think I enjoy your bulls--t? (his anger increases, and he begins to forcefully rip off his microphone) I'm gettin' the f--k outta here. I don't have time to deal with this bulls--t."

(walking off set now)

"And you don't have to bleep a single, goddamned f----n' word of this when you show it on your 11:00 piece of horses--t rerun, either "

Houston, We Are Gonna Have A Problem



You won't see a sign like that for a while after tonight.

(Photo edited by Kane Dinsay)

Hey folks, glad to be writing for you again!
I have been as amazed as everyone elese about the sudden emergence of the Houston Rockets. Winning 22 straight games, jumping from 10th to 1st in the Western Conference in the process, including becoming undefeated without Yao Ming. However, although they deserve credit for the streak with Yao, let me just say I think the streak after Yao Ming's absence has been a farce.

Here is why:

1. The Houston Rockets have not placed a significant big man in the games after Yao Ming's absence. They beat Washington (Won by 25), Memphis (Won by 21), Denver (Won by 14), Indiana (Won by 18 with no Jermaine O'Neal), Dallas (won by 15 with no Dirk), New Orleans (Won by 20), New Jersey (Won by 18), Atlanta (Won by 8), Charlotte (Won by 9), Los Angeles Lakers (Won by 12 with no Pau Gasol).

2. In the games with known big men: Denver (Kenyon Martin), New Orleans (Tyson Chandler), Atlanta (Al Horford), and Charlotte (Emeka Okafor), have had great games. They all in total averaged 15.2 points and grabbed 11 rebounds between the four of them.

3. They have been shooting lights out. Take a look at the last game they played, against the Los Angeles Lakers. They made 12-26 3 pointers, 8 from Rafer Alston. Do not expect that to fly for long. Ask the Phoenix Suns, you live by the 3, you usually die of it. (Then you make a idiotic move in trading a quick freak of an athlete, Shawn Marion, for a Big Slow Delusional Cactus)

4. Their defense might be good, but the Boston Celtics play even better D. The Celtics also have the momentum, cathing up from 22 down to beat the Spurs the night before.

5. No one will guard Kevin Garnett. The very young and talented 23 year old Dikembe Mutumbo has barely played over 20 minutes in recent games. However, when Luis Shorty Scola cannot reach KG's face, Mutumbo will probably be put in for defensive purposes, taking an offensive option away from the Rockets.

Good luck to Houston tonight, but I just do no envision them stopping Garnett. KG probably cannot see it happening either.

To Be Continued...

Friday, March 14, 2008

Rockets turn 21



About 2 seconds ago, the buzzer sounded on the Rockets' 21st consecutive win, an 89-80 victory over the Bobcats in Houston. And so we have ourselves a wholly unique situation: a team with the second longest winning streak in NBA history, that also has no shot of winning the championship. Hell, they might not even make it out of the first round. Obviously, that's entirely too negative a tone to start off with, but in no way do I mean to be critical. I just wanted to point out how crazy that is.

Anyways, I think the most amazing thing may not be the streak itself, but the streak inside the streak. Houston's last 9 wins have come without Yao - a startling turn of events. I mean, I figured they'd stay afloat - afterall, they went 20-12 without the Big Fella last year - but not lose a step? At all? I think this entire run reinforces two points:

1. Tracy McGrady is a superstar - a dominant scorer and a brilliant passer. He's right up there with LeBron and Duncan and Kobe (yes, Kobe) in terms of the best non-point guard passers in the league - he just knows how to get the ball to his guys in a position to score, and he always keeps them involved in the flow of the game offensively. As Simmons pointed out in the playoffs a couple years ago, when Kobe was playing like Mark Jackson against the Suns, your teammates always play harder and better when they feel like they have a big stake in the outcome of the game. And because McGrady is so unselfish, and his teammates know that he is a team player, when he does decide to take over the game as a scorer, it's all gravy. Mac's found the perfect balance.

2. When you play defense consistent, night-to-night basis, you're always going to be in the game, and you're always going to have a chance to win. Overall, Houston ranks fourth in the league in defensively, allowing about 92 points a night. During the streak, they're holding teams to 84 a game. There's a reason Detroit and San Antonio are always in the mix for a title, and there's a reason Phoenix always falls short (and a reason I worry about my Lakers facing the Spurs in a seven-game series). You gotta play defense. Good defense. That's the strongest foundation you can have.

With that and team play, you can win. It's basketball in it's purest form, the s--t that Smith and Knight demanded, the style of play that gave Larry Brown hard-ons. And the Rockets, in the past 21 games, have mastered it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Wire, episode 60: "-30-" ('...the life of kings.' - H.L. Mencken)



Shockingly, I don't have much to say. Not in a speechless way, but in a I just don't have that many thoughts about it kind of way. I discovered "The Wire" in the summer of 2006, and between then and now, it arguably replaced the game of basketball as my most favoritest thing, which is really saying something. To borrow a quote from Michael Jordan and morph it so that it works for me, "The Wire" was my wife. It demanded loyalty and responsibility, and it gave me back fulfillment and peace." Yet now that it's over, I'm just over it. I don't feel sad. It was a great show, the best I've ever watched and the best ever aired on American television. But I'm only writing about it this final time because I'm ready to close that chapter of my life and move on. "The Wire" helped me cope with the brief mediocrity of the Lakers, and the Omar obituary put this blog on the map. And yet I sit here writing this rough draft, and I have no real emotions. "The Wire" deserved better from me, but as Snoop and Bill Munny have taught us, "Deserve's got nothing to do with it."

Anyways, no matter how many different storylines they had going at once (and there were always plenty) - the street was invariably the most interesting one. A few brief notes on that aspect from E60:

- The scene where Michael robs Vinson at the rim shop may have been the hokiest in "Wire" history - Mike's partner had deer-in-the-headlight-is and Vinson was on auto-pilot - but overall, I guess it worked. Mike and Omar share a few obvious traits: independence, intelligence, skill and, as far as killers go, a heightened, obligated moral sense. It also served, along with Dukie's tumble into a life of homelessness and addiction and Sydnor's going outside of the chain of command, to bring home one of the show's final points: the faces and names change, but the positions stay occupied.

"The cyclical manner of the institutional prerogative was going to be asserted," said David Simon in a recent interview.

- "Ain't no back in the day, nigga. Ain't no nostalgia to this shit here. It's just the game, and the street, and what happen here today." - Cheese

- The odds of Marlo staying retired from the street and becoming a legit businessman are highly anorexic. He's just a gangsta, he bleeds red not green, the corner is his country, etc., and that's all there is to him. Sure, he could make millions building condos and owning copy shops and such, but like Jack Nicholson's character in "The Departed," it's not about the money and it never was. No way he changes his stripes. As he told Joe in rebuking the man's final Proposition (that he just disappear from the game, never to be heard from again), "Truth is, you wouldn't be able to change up any more than me."

- If I have one regret about this brilliant show, it's that we never got to see how Chris, who ate the bodies and took life with no parole so that his boss could walk free, ever became so loyal to Marlo. From the closing montage, we see that he is now Jessup-buddies with Wee-Bey, another fiercely loyal, unconscionable hitman who murdered first, asked questions never and then took the fall on behalf of the team. Except we know that Wee-Bey dropped out of school in the sixth grade and started slinging with Avon and Stringer; he grew up with them. What was the connection between Marlo and Chris? This we will never know.

And so it is. The connect is now shared and shared alike by the Co-Op, who will continue to move the dope that kept the MCU wiretapping, had City Hall juking stats, stole kids away from the classroom, and had the city's top newspaper oblivious to it all. It was all connected, and at the end of five seasons, it was all the same. "The seeds of the future are sown throughout Baltimore," the synopsis for the finale told us. Unfortunately, that future looks a lot like the present and past.

So long to "The Wire." Thanks for making me think long and hard about a television show.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Wire Talk: What's in a name?



Disclaimer: I do not like Marlo. At all.

Cartoonist extraordinare and "The Wire" watcher Steve Lieber (check this out) makes an excellent observation in the comments section of Bethlehem Shoals' most recent Heavenandhere post (a reaction to ep. 59). Lieber contrasts Marlo's now famous "My name is my name!" jailhouse declaration with a statement made by Vondas in Season 2, and points out how it "draws a line between the street and the money." I'd like to expand on that idea. To wit:

Vondas: He knows my name, but my name is not my name. And you...to them you're only "The Greek."

The Greek: And, of course, I'm not even Greek.


It's indicative of the difference in mentality between the two powers. Marlo, like Avon before him, is all about protecting his image and rep in the streets. Pride and manhood, the downfall of many a men. When Stanfield gets angry that Omar was calling him out by name without his knowledge, and proclaims that he's willing to "step to any mothafucka, Omar, Barksdale, whoever," I don't doubt his sincerity for nary a second. Why do you think Chris didn't want him to know? Because he knew that Marlo would've responded in the same impulsive, ultra-masculine manner that he displays in said scene.

Remember in Season 3, after Slim and Cutty's arranged ambush on a Stanfield corner blew up into a complete disaster, and Avon, just recently having been released from prison and with gun in hand, was ready to go down to the streets after Marlo his damn self? Same thing.

The Greek, on the other hand, cares so little about his "name ringing out" that he is known only by a moniker that belies his true nationality.

And Vondas...is not really Vondas.

Is it an age/maturity thing? Maybe. Is it a black/white thing? I don't think so. It's kind of a trite thing to say at this point, but Stringer had the same kind of low-key, profit over public esteem business mind. Did that make him smarter than Avon? Yes, actually. Unfortunately for him, he was too smart for his own good. But that's a whole 'nother story.

Although in the defense of guys like Avon and Marlo, they probably can't help but be the way they are. I'm no psychologist (I got a "D' in Psych 101 and don't plan on re-taking it), but I would conjecture that most thugs are born as such, and are just acting out their nature. Marlo isn't just obsessed with protecting his name because his kingdom is tantamount to it; under no circumstance or in any position, drug kingpin or civilian or whatever, would he shy away from a confrontation with Omar, or anybody else, who invited him to man up. I can picture him as a pubescent little hopper, running around the streets of Baltimore trying to catch pigeons, and standing toe-to-toe, eye-to-eye with anyone - ANYONE - who disrespected him. The ice-cold stare Mike gave him in their initial meeting? Mike telling Namond "I ain't tryna stand around, let a bunch of chump ass niggas think I'm shook. I ain't." That's Marlo ten years ago, that's Marlo today, that's Marlo always.

Now, does that mean that Mike is the next Marlo? I'm not even gonna touch that subject. You wanna scratch that itch, you need to follow that H&H link. They got you.

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Wire, episode 59: "Late Editions"



Like Randall Cunningham in 1998, the fifth season of HBO's "The Wire" is having a resurgence at it nears the end. It started off strong, hit a lull in the middle, but now it's finishing in splendid fashion with the instant classics that were the last two episodes. Omar's death at the hands of Kenard in ep. 58 shook up the world (or at least the message boards), and 59 manged to top it in terms of sheer quality and number of memorable moments.

Marlo's "My name is my name" speech channeled Michael Corleone in "The Godfather," the quiet Don unleashing a strong burst of emotion. It was a showstopper; the camera pans in on Marlo, and any excess sound in the jail that could take away from the moment ceases. All we see or hear is him and his unprecedented anger. Jamie Hector has played the role with frightening, calculating control and hushed wickedness; this marked the first time that we had ever heard Marlo raise his voice. Those 30 seconds belong on the resume, Mr. Hector. At 1A.

Snoop's murder at the hands of Michael also resonated, deep on a number of different levels. Betrayal, truth, tenderness - it was all there. And Snoop's soldier-style exit might end up immortalizing her highly detestable character; all gangster's want to go out like that. When you live the life that she lived, and you do the deeds that she did, death is not only expected, but easily accepted. She knew it was her time to go and she was at peace with it. The game is the game.

Finally, we had Mike, now marked for death, dropping Bug off at an aunt's house and leaving Dukie to a life on the streets. I consider "The Wire" to be an American tragedy, and these were the two most tragic scenes to date. Bug has now lost both his nanny and the only true parent he's ever known; the tears that ran down his cheeks as he said his final goodbye's was enough to make a grown man cry. Even stoic, hardened Mike almost lost it. Dukie has now lost his best friend (and really, we all need friends like Michael), and as Bubs nears a full recovery, he is just beginning to enter the abyss of homelessness and likely addiction. When he tries to reminisce with Mike about the time the crew launched a urine balloon attack on the Terrace Boys in the Season 4 premiere, he's left hanging; Mike tells him he doesn't remember. At 14, Michael's already forgotten what it was like to be a kid. Some sad shit.

This was an iconic episode with multiple iconic scenes, on par with the penultimate episode of "The Sopranos." It was dark and exceedingly depressing, the very epitome of what "The Wire" is all about. Absolutely brilliant.

And now we're down to the last one. How will it end? What will be the fate of McNulty, Marlo, Templeton, etc? Us On Demanders will have to wait two weeks to find out. The finale will NOT be airing a week early. You know it's true what they say, life really isn't fair.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

In Loving Memory of Omar Little



Omar Devone Little, a.k.a. "The Terror" (born 1973 or '74), was a Baltimore stick-up artist of legendary proportions. With his trademark facial scar, trenchcoat (black or brown), shotgun (pump action or double barrel), and out-and-out badassness, Omar was the most fearsome and intimidating thug in all of the land, a straight-up menace to the city's drug dealers. With his quick wit and undeniable charm (which lended to his penchant of dropping perfectly-timed one-liners), strict adherance to his code ("I ain't never put my gun on nobody who wasn't in the game"), accountability, and sincere concern for his community, he was also the most likable and respectable. As the show's lone independant, Omar was able to play by his own rules - openly gay, disdain for swear words - in the Alpha Male Capitol: The Steets. You either loved him or hated him but you had to respect him.

We first get to see Omar is action in Season 1, episode 3 ("The Buys"), when he does his initial jacking of the Barksdale stashouse. It was a robbery that would spark a three-season long feud, a conflict that ultimately led to the demise of one Stringer J. Bell. After scoping the scenery with teammates Brandon (his lover) and Bailey, Omar and Co. bust in one night armed and ready to rip and run. With shotty in hand and scowl on face, Omar demands that young Sterling give up the location of the dope ("Ayo, where it at?"). When the boy refuses to budge, Omar puts a buckshot in his leg. This remains perhaps my favorite Omar scene; his swagger is unbelievable and we realize early on just how fierce and serious this guy is. He does not like to repeat himself and he doesn't have time to play. And he can be extremely violent. Stinkum found out. So did String and his muscle. Savino felt his wrath just last week. The man had ice-water in his veins for his adversaries and had no problem delving in murder if he deemed it necessary.

But other than that, he was a great guy. He was gentle with his boyfriends, he cared for his friends, he respected the taxpaying citizen, he took his grandmother to church on Sunday's. He was so charismatic that even some cops (like Kima and McNulty) were won over by him.

Alas, he had a blind spot for the chil'n, and he would fall at the hands of one, shot through the back of the head by that little bastard Kenard, whom he did not consider a threat. He never got to Marlo. His murder was swift and unexpected, probably not unlike the way many guys in his line of work meet their ends. But while it may have been realistic, it didn't really make sense in the context of the character and what he was supposed to symbolize. In Rafael Alvarez's "The Wire: Truth Be Told," David Simon wrote that in all of his Baltimore stories, "there exists a deep and abiding faith in the capacity of individuals. They are, in small and credible ways, a humanist celebration in which hope, though unspoken, is clearly implied." Omar was this show's personification of that optimism, the sole individual operating outside of the rigged institutions the show focuses on. And as such, he beat the odds time and again over five seasons. I thought Omar was supposed to prosper. Why get him got now? Doesn't make sense to me.

But I digress. This isn't about questioning Simon's thinking, it's about remembering Omar, and the courtroom obliteration of Levy, and the heartfelt bench scene with Bunk, and the Mouzone alley scene, and the Spiderman scene, and the "You come at the king, you best not miss" scene. It's about "The Farmer in Dell." It's about paying homage to Michael K. Williams, the actor who breathed life into Omar and then immortalized him with his brilliant perfomance.

May his myth survive his death in Simon's Baltimore after the cameras stop rolling. And may he live on forever with us, the fans, on YouTube and Box Set DVD.

Indeed.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The Top 11 Big Men Dunkers in NBA History

In wake of the show Dwight Howard put on Saturday night in N'awlins, the question can at least be asked: Is he the best big-man dunker of all-time. The short answer is: No. Barkley was saying during the telecast that there's never been anyone as tall as Howard that could jump that high. He is right. The "Superman" dunk he pulled off was simply the coolest ever (even though he didn't really dunk it). And overall, I think his performance in this year's event was as impressive and memorable as any we've seen, including Vince in 2000 in the Bay. But overall? I think he still needs to put in more work before he can stake claim to the title of the baddest.

So if it's not Howard (yet), then who is it? Here goes my list of the top 11 (I wanted to include everybody). I actually think No. 1 is a pretty easy choice. It was the guys directly after that (2-5) that I had the most trouble ranking. I'll let the videos tell the stories. Let the arguing (and the "oohs" and "aahs") begin.

11. Larry Johnson



10. Karl Malone



9. Kevin Garnett



8. Chris Webber



7. Shaquille O'Neal



6. Kenyon Martin



5. Daryl Dawkins



4. Dwight Howard



3. Charles Barkley



2. Amare Stoudemire



1. Shawn Kemp



Saturday, February 16, 2008

Mike Bibby to the Hawks


Mike Bibby will be rejuvenated in Atlanta.

David Aldridge is on TNT right now, explaining the parameters:

Sacramento has agreed to trade G Mike Bibby to the Hawks in exchange for second-year F/C Shelden Williams and the expiring contracts of C Lorenzen Wright, G Anthony Johnson, and G Tyronn Lue.

Wow. Atlanta finally has a point guard to go along with the excellent young nucleus of Joe Johnson, Josh Smith, Marvin Williams, Al Horford and Josh Childress. Bibby is a veteran with playoff experience and he's not afraid to take a big shot. In time, he could become to this team what Sam Cassell was to the 2006 Clippers. Maybe you don't have to worry about Atlanta crashing the East party this year, but next year...it's on.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Shaq traded to Suns for Marion, Banks



Wow. That happened quickly.

Tuesday afternoon the WWL reported that the Miami Heat were in talks with the Phoenix Suns about a trade that would send (an allegedly shocked) Shaquille O'Neal to the desert. Five minutes ago I got a text from Kane confirming that the deal had been finalized. Indeed, the little "Breaking News" box at the bottom right corner of the ESPNEWS channel reads "Suns agree to trade for Shaquille O'Neal." Phoenix will be sending along Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks in return. The Daddy will fly to Phoenix tomorrow for a physical to complete the deal. First Van Gundy, now Shaq. Riles does not play.

So, what does it all mean? Well, on Phoenix's end, this is obviously a direct/panicked response to the Lakers' recent acquisition of Pau Gasol (who threw up a 24-12 in his LA debut in Joisey tonight). It's understandable - everyone in the West needs to seriously think about beefing up their frontline in the wake of that transaction. But let's face it, the Shaq of two years ago is probably gone, let alone any semblance of the man that once lived up to his self-proclaimed title of M.D.E. Shaq is a dinasour now. Phoenix has slowed their run-and-gun style down some, becoming a more orthodox team since last season, but even with that Shaq probably won't be able to keep up with their pace. More than likely, they're going to ask Shaq to become an almost solely defensive player. He's capable, but will he be willing to do that? In his tell-all classicThe Last Season, Phil Jackson quoted Shaq, in response to a question about whether he considered it more important that he play offense or defend and rebound, as saying, "I've always been an offensive player. I've never been a defensive player." The man has four championships, the last coming without Kobe, so he has zero left to prove. There's no reason or motivation for him to change his tune now.

And even if he did, do you really see him keeping up with a young, healthy, Andrew Bynum come playoff time, in a seven-game series? I thinks not. The fact of the matter is, Fisher+Kobe+Odom+Pau+healthy Bynum+Farmar+Sasha+Ariza+Walton+Radmanovic+Turiaf > Nash+Bell+Hill+Amare+old Shaq+Barbosa+Diaw+Skinner. The Lakers are loaded.

Then again, there's a small part of me that was initially terrified of the thought of Shaq coming back to the Western Conference. It's the same feeling I got when Mike returned for the last time, and it made me fear a Lakers-Wizards Finals matchup, as unlikely as it was that it would actually occur (and obviously, the Wiz didn't even make the playoffs in MJ's two years with them as a player). I wanted no part of Michael Jordan in that scenario. Why? Because no matter how old and washed up he was, he was still Michael Jordan. As long as he could play even a little bit, he was extemely dangerous to me. And in the back of my head, all the way down at the itty bitty bottom, I want no part of Shaquille O'Neal in late spring - for the same reason as with MJ, coupled with the no-need-to-be-recounted ending that was his Lake Show career. I'll probably have a couple nightmares in the coming months about Shaq haunting the Lakers at the Staples Center this May.

As for Miami, they still suck but they're in better shape now. They get out from under Shaq's ridiculous contract and add a very nice piece in Marion, although he fit in better in Phoenix's system than he will in Miami, or anywhere else for that matter. The Suns never appreciated how perfect Shawn Marion was to them, and vice versa. Shawn thought he wanted to be traded, but he probably didn't know it was gonna be to the worst team in the league. He's about to get a Ph.D. in Being Careful What You Wish For.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Mercury Morris Gets to Keep Yapping



When they completed the first 16-0 regular season ever by dispatching of these same New York Giants in the Meadowlands six weeks ago, forget his neighborhood, the New England Patriots had officially stepped foot on Mercury Morris' block. When they defeated the San Diego Chargers in Foxborough in the AFC Championship Game, they strolled up his walkway. When Tom Brady hit Randy Moss for the go-ahead touchdown with 2:42 remaining in the fourth quarter of Super Bowl XLII in Arizona Sunday night, they were standing on his porch (and every other cliche that has been used ad nausea in the leadup to the game.) 

Unfortunately, they were shot down by a sniper before they could enter through the front door. 

It was Giants 17, Patriots 14, and so I guess it's true that you can't win them all. It was analysed before the game that the key to any chance the Giants had of pulling off the upset centered on the ability of their front four to get past New England's stellar offensive line and to Brady, who's jersey is usually as clean at the end of the game as it is before it. They did, 5 sacks and many more hits on the game's best player. Just as important was Eli Manning, who contrary to the petrified look on his face as he ran onto the field for the drive of his life, who showed major poise and flair in answering Brady's testical-size by leading his team downfield for the game-winning drive and making one of the most memorable plays in football history. 

In a sequence that will certainly become a part of Super Bowl lore forever and ever and ever, Big Game MVP Eli (19 of 34, 255 yards, 2 touchdown passes and 1 pick) somehow managed to escape the grasps of three Patriots defenders and loft the ball to the middle of the field to wideout David Tyree, who jumped to the highest point and gripped it away from safety Rodney Harrison, clutching it against the side of his helmet with his right hand on the way down to the field. Unbelievable on both ends of the play. It was at this point that you began to believe that maybe the Giants were a team of destiny - and as it turns out they were. Shortly thereafter, Eli floated one to the corner of the endzone to an open Plaxico for the deciding touchdown. Good for the Giants. God bless them. 

As for the Patriots, winning the first 18 games of the season and then losing the Super Bowl, missing out on immortality by a mere 35 seconds, ranks right up there with the collapses of the '86 Sawx, '04 Yankees, and anybody else in terms of all-time most devastating defeats. As Tom Jackson pointed out on ESPN after the game, the fallout that will come from the Patriots organization in the wake of such a loss is unimaginable. How do you respond to something like this? Five months of the highest level of football ever played, rendered meaningless in a little more than two minutes? I feel for the players, I feel for the coaches, I feel for management, I feel for Robert Kraft. And if I'm a Patriots fan - which I am, although I'm of the bandwagon variety, so it's not gonna lay on me like it would a diehard, the only kind that exists in Boston - it's gonna be hard for me to really get myself back into football next season. Actually, the Pats could win the next three Super Bowl's and it still wouldn't fully ease the pain of losing the one that was played Sunday. This was a huge missed opportunity. 

But the worst part, for everybody involved? The '72 Dolphins. They live on. It seems we may never get rid of them.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Chris Carter, Screwed


It's not right, man. It's just not right.

Former NFL great Chris Carter, the eight-time Pro Bowler and four-time All-Pro receiver of the Eagles, Vikings, and Dolphins who ranks second all-time in career receptions and receiving touchdowns and fifth in total touchdowns, was denied in his initial shot at entry into the Pro Football Hall-of-Fame, it was announced today.

And I don't know anything anyome.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Gasol to Lakers for Brown

I don't know what's more shocking: The Spoiler To End All Spoilers for the fifth season of The Wire that I've watched multiple times in the past 45 minutes, or the fact that the Lakers have just acquired an All-Star caliber big man from Memphis for a guy that was lustily booed by his home crowd two weeks ago. I'm gonna go with the latter, since the former had already been hinted at. It was almost a state of denial on my part that I wasn't fully expecting it. But I digress.

In a colossal move that seemingly came from out of nowhere, the Memphis Grizzlies have traded F/C Pau Gasol and a 2010 second-round pick to the Lakers for C Kwame Brown, rookie G Javaris Crittenton, G Aaron McKie and the rights to Gasol's younger brother, C Marc, and first-round picks in 2008 and 2010. McKie was not on an NBA roster, but his rights were still owned by Los Angeles, the team he had most recently played for. He was signed earlier today today to make the deal's salary cap considerations feasible. The Grizz get cap relief - the remainder of Kwame's contract, $9.1 million this season, comes off the books after the season. The Lakers get the inside track on the 2008 title, as far as I see it - Gasol is a gifted post scorer that will fill in quite nicely in Andrew Bynum's absence. Suddenly, the next six weeks don't look so bleak for Lakers fans. And come playoff time, the Lakers will have a supremely talented, mammoth frontline - 6-10 Lamar Odom, 7-0 Pau Gasol, 7-0 Andrew Bynum - that no one is going to be able to match up with. No one. This past summer, Kobe was bitching about not having enough support. Nine month's later, he's on potentialy the most formidable team in basketball. Go figure.

That sound you hear? It's the rest of the NBA, trembling in their boots.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

All-Star Love, All-Star Snubs


Blazers guard Brandon Roy was named a Western Conference All-Star reserve today, but were others more deserving?

I slept through TNT's All-Star Reserves announcement pre-game show earlier today, but I've awaken to see the list. And it goes a little something like thiiiiis:

Eastern Conference

G Chauncey Billups
G Richard Hamilton
G Joe Johnson
F Paul Pierce
F Caron Butler
F Chris Bosh
F Antawn Jamison

Western Conference

G Chris Paul
G Steve Nash
G Brandon Roy
F Dirk Nowitzki
F Carlos Boozer
F David West
C Amare Stoudemire

I have no problems with the East, really, not enough to write about, but I think some bones can be picked in the West. Obviously, there are some guys that are going to be snubbed every year. Too many deserving players, too few spots. Such is the NBA All-Star roster. And so apologies to the always underrated Shawn Marion (15.7 points, 9.9 rebounds, 1.9 steals, 1.5 blocks, 52 percent from the field). The game will not be the same without you. And don't get discouraged Josh Howard ( 20.9 points, 7.5 rebounds, 48 percent shooting) - just keep getting better. It's not you, it's David West (19.6 points, 9.4 rebounds, 2.4 assists, 48 percent): the Hornets deseved two All-Stars for the year they're having, and the coaches obliged. I don't completely agree with West's inclusion, but I definitely understand.

The real issue, at least for me, arises at the point Brandon Roy makes the squad over Deron Williams or Baron Davis. Their records (26-19 for Roy and Portland, 28-18 for Deron and Utah, 28-19 for Diddy and G-State) are similar, and Williams (19.1 points, 9.5 assists, 52 percent overall, 39 from 3) and Davis (22.3 points, 4.9 boards, 8.1 dimes, 2.5 steals, hasn't missed a game, an absolute career year, he's finally putting it all together) have had better individual years. Roy is an excellent young player, and he's the best player on the most surprising team in the league. But his statistics don't match the hype he receives, just yet - 19.3 points, 4.5 boards, 5.6 assists. Portland is like a deep, well-rounded, whole-greater-than-sum-of-parts, really good college-like team (in structure) with an excellent coach that plays hard every night. Roy is a very big piece of the puzzle in Portland, not the puzzle itself. Doubt anyone would argue against that. I mean, congratulations anyway, B-Roy, I respect your game and professional attitude as much as the next person. But I'm just saying.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The Wire, ep. 55: "React Quotes" ("Just 'cause they're in the streets doesn't mean they lack opinions ." - Haynes)

***SPOILER ALERT***

It's only recently that I've come to accept The Wire as what it is: fiction. The first time I watched the show, one of the things that struck me was how real it seemed, and I took that thought and ran with it. It wasn't until I read a year-old H&H post by Beth Shoals, about the mythical exploits of Omar and how he undermined the show's authenticity, did I begin to reconsider.

Is Omar unrealistic? Does he take away from the show's trademark actuality? I googled it. Scoured H&H. Read some Matthew Yglesias. Signed up to the official HBO message board. Gathered information from my peers and then headed straight to the source, searching for any and every David Simon interview I could find. Even bought a book, The Wire: Truth Be Told (a must-have for any true fan of the show, although it only covers the first two seasons). I wanted answers. For the record, I don't see Omar's very nature - gay, doesn't curse, etc. - as being fanciful as much as I do the situations he's often placed in: He robs the fiercest and largest drug clans in the land, they respond in kind, and the back and forth ensues, he hunting them as fiercely as they hunt he. And despite being severely outnumbered, he remains above ground. Notoriously well-known, he's played a major part in multiple unsolved murders, with the most talented detectives The Wire has to offer well-aware of his involvement. Yet by some constituating circumstance or another, he remains uncarcerated. Seems unlikely.

I've come to two conclusions. One, I never should've taken the show so literally. It is not a docudrama, it has actors and scripts and manually constructed sets, no different than Desperate Housewives in that respect. The little details - like the slang the dealers use, the innerworkings of a drug organization, the police procedurals, and the class and newsroom scenes, for instance - that only city insiders like Simon and Ed Burns could capture, as well as the fact that it's a show about the grittiest parts of Baltimore filmed in the grittiest part of Baltimore, give the show it's veneer of substinence. But as Simon points out in Truth Be Told, while some of the events took place, and others were rumored to have taken place, many did not take place. Oftentimes, the plotlines don't serve as mirrors of real life occurances, but rather, as symbols of a larger truth or point that the show is trying to make.

Secondly, on a program about institutions and their propensity to contaminate and betrayal the individuals that belong to them (think about it, it's all over the show). Omar is The Wire's lone independent, the one character that answers to no one but himself. He is his own establishment, and thus he can abide by his own rules and own code, and more importantly, he is not doomed, as most of his adversaries on his side of the law have proven to be.

With that insight in mind, when Omar pulls off some Marvel shit like he did in 55, I'm able to carry it a little better. Omar and Big Donnie set up outside Monk's condo. He's moving with muscle, so Butchie's avengers wait patiently, for the exact moment they think he's alone. Little do they know, they're being set up: Monk is being used as bait. When they finally make their move, busting in with guns drawn, Chris, Snoop, Mike, and O-Dog are inside waiting. Violence ensues, O-Dog catching one in the leg, Big Donnie meeting his end with one through the forehead. And so once again, Omar is all by his lonesome, crawling away from bullets, and now his clip is empty. So what does he do?

He bursts through a nearby window and off of a balcony at least five stories off the ground, a dark figure flying down from the sky at night, a la Batman, only with a trenchcoat instead of a cape.

Chris, Snoop, and Mike run over to the balcony and look down, but Omar is gone. Needless to say, unless you're Peter Parker, you don't just up and walk away from a leap like that. Well, unless you're Omar, I guess.

It's almost as if the cynical masterminds behind The Wire took the mumblings about Omar being an implausible character and decided to turn it into a little joke by having him channel his inner-Spiderman. Simon certainly heard the complaints, even going as far as to show up on the comment board for the aforementioned Shoals piece and shed some insight on/discount the notion that someone in Omar's line of work would eventually end up dead or in jail (not that convincing, to be perfectly honest with you). Simon didn't pen the episode, but as always he had a hand in the story. More than likely, he's somewhere laughing his ass off right now.

Alright, the Big Finish:

Marlo meets with Vondas to finalize their business agreement. Vondas gives the newborn king a cell phone and tells him never to talk business on it, but also shows him a little trick. Those Greeks are clever. Marlo later gives a delighted Levy the number, who explains to Herc that Stanfield using a cellphone in this day and age will likely lead to a big payday for the firm, in the form of a major wiretap case. "Joe gave him to us just in time," he says. What an asshole. Later, a still spited Herc sneaks into the office and copies down the number. He gets it to Carv ("When you put the bracelets on that bitch, remind him again of my fuckin' camera"), who in turn hands it over to Lester; Chris says bye to his two kids and tells his girl he's gonna be away on business for a couple of weeks. Translation: Omar's comin'. This was clearly an attempt by the writers to humanize Chris, but it just doesn't work. He's been too coldblooded. He's not human; Dukie gets beat up by Kenard and Spider and decides enough is enough, so Mike takes him to Cutty. Well, Dukie can't fight. He and Cutty converse about life, with Dukie asking how to "get from here to the rest of the world," but Cutty is clueless himself. For plan two, Duke enlists Mike to teach him how to shoot (not pool), but that doesn't work out either. He's just not meant for the streets. Unfortunately, he's trapped there; McNulty meets with Templeton and Gutierrez to help them juice up their story on the homeless "murders"; Daniels meets with Carcetti to request additional manpower, but only gets overtime for two detectives, causing McNulty and Lester to come up with another plan. Templeton unknowlingly assists them, staging a phonecall from the "serial killer." A shocked McNulty is called into a meeting with the paper, where Templeton has detailed notes of the "conversation" and the number of the payphone he used to concoct his tale. Not to be outdone, McNulty says the Homicide Unit received a similar call from someone that matches Scott's description. Put it this way: between Templeton and McNulty, there was a lot of B.S. being spouted in that scene. McNulty uses this development to get Freamon his wiretap. It's actually meant for Homicide to monitor the killer, but Lester rigs it such that while they think they're up on the killer's cellphone, he's really eavesdropping on Marlo back at the detail office. At the close of the hour, he picks up on a call, but hears nothing but static. "What the ...?" he says to himself; Beadie is ready to put Jimmy out; Narese manages to convine Clay to play team ball; and Royce backs Clay at a support rally.

Move along now, children.

(Oh, and Bubs passes his HIV test. Forgot about that.)